When I was at my sickest, it was pretty hard to be grateful for anything. I was hurting. I was in pain… and being sick is depressing… so I was depressed. When I went to the doctor, they seemed to want to focus on the depressed part.
I can’t tell you the number of times I was offered drugs from a counselor or a psychiatrist. I was what I have come to call “functioning sick” for 20 years. I was in pain for various reasons until I figured out what was making me sick.
I never accepted drugs as the answer to what was sometimes labeled depression.
Instead, I insisted I was not depressed, I was in pain.
That’s not to say I didn’t self medicate. I have had my battles with addiction: booze, pain pills and recreational drugs were temporary escapes from pain and I have used them plenty over the years… but not prescription drugs for depression.
I wonder if I would be a different person if I had accepted any of the drugs doctors offered to “help” with depression. I wonder if it is the drugs that kill and not the disease. After all, drugs add one more toxin in an already toxic world.
In my experience: people who take drugs to heal from disease have to detox for the disease and then detox for the drug. Sometimes the latter is more difficult.
There has never been anything wrong with my brain that adding drugs could fix.
I was in pain. Pain can be depressing. Pain can be all-encompassing.
The pain was from toxins. Now, I know that.
I had mercury, lead, toxic mold, mycotoxins, Lyme, Bartonella, Mycoplasma and probably more. Those are just the toxins I know about and that I tested positive for.
It took me 20 years to figure it out.
Get rid of the toxins and I would be better.
Oftentimes I read, “Change my thinking and I can change my life.”
That’s true. As long as you are not being poisoned.
I have to admit… this has been a difficult week for me.
(originally written August 13, 2014 – updated March 24, 2022)
A couple of suicides in a row have made me think about
other suicides from earlier in my life and I have cried a lot.
Plus, my kids moved out and that has had me crying. I feel more toxic now that I am back in New York and I felt great in Hawaii… and feeling sick is not easy to deal with.
Is my crying a sign of depression, overwhelm, toxicity… or a combination of these things? I’ve been trying to figure that out…
First, let’s make this clear: I am in no way in danger of committing suicide… so don’t worry.
What makes me different from the people who decide to commit suicide?
According to Pop Chassid – Robin Williams did not Kill himself
The disease killed Robin Williams. The drugs killed him.
It was a great blog post about suicide and it really made me think about why people kill themselves.
I think the toxins killed him…
Our world is very toxic.
When I figured this out, it changed my life. It changed my outlook on disease.
All disease is caused by toxins. Even mental disease.
My brain was severely affected by toxins… and it is greatly relieved when I detox!
The addition of toxins to a brain can frazzle anybody’s thinking. Has anybody looked at what Robin Williams was prescribed when he was released from rehab a month prior to his death? Has anybody tested his house for toxins?
For me: I know what is happening today is a temporary problem.
- If my house is making me sick, I will clean it or move.
- If the chemtrails are making me sick, I will move if I have to.
- If it is something else, I will find it and eliminate it from my life.
I did this simple test for toxins and I am toxic.
I am going to test my house for toxins to see if it is the house. I have gotten well before and as long as the toxins going into my body are less than those leaving my body, I will get better every day.
That’s my equation for getting well.
Toxins in < toxins out = better health
Every pain I feel is bringing me one step closer to wellness. And as long as I am not being poisoned… right thinking can bring any body closer to wellness.
I was challenged to post 3 gratitudes a day on facebook and I did not do it yet, publicly.
I write my gratitudes on index cards, daily.
- I am grateful for clean air to breathe.
- I am grateful that I am learning more about health every day
- I am grateful for the faith I have in the law of attraction
We are what we think!
So choose good thoughts!!
Gratitude and health are linked and when you start being grateful today… what you think about will expand and you will have more of it. It’s really not more complicated than that but it takes practice. And no amount of positive thinking will help if you have toxic air, food, water or drugs going into your body at a faster rate than your body can rid itself of the toxins.
If you want to: I challenge you to write down your own gratitudes…
What are you grateful for?
Write down 3 a day, 1 a day, however many you are comfortable with, for however long.
This was a Facebook challenge but I am not going to name names and challenge you.
If you want to post your gratitudes online… do it. If you want to post publicly…
Do it on an index card or a sheet of paper or in your mind.
Just be grateful. Even if you're struggling.
If you are trying to get well, but the medical community has failed you, start taking control of your health today. You don't need doctors to get well.
Health and wellness begins with you. Reach out if you need help.
There are tools that help you monitor your own health and more importantly – improve your own health with natural things like herbs, supplements, energy and frequency.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!